Iridescent
by Naflower05
Summary: After her refusal of the Dark Mark, and subsequent torture, Celeste Malfoy finds herself amid the Order. Shes plagued by nightmares, and her loyalties are being questioned, while she's not sure of them herself. Then there's Sirius Black. Full sum inside
1. Chapter 1 The Refusal

Full Summary: They say that time heals all wounds, but Celeste Malfoy isn't sure. After her refusal of the Dark Mark, and subsequent torture, she finds herself amid mudbloods and bloodtraitors- people she used to hate. Yet somehow, they don't seem so bad this time around. But Celeste is still plagued by nightmares every time she falls asleep, and the war is still going on around her. People are questioning her loyalties, while she's not sure of them herself. And then there's Sirius Black. Author's Note: So this just came to me out of no where, and it wouldn't stop bugging me until it had been written. It's been hanging out in my head for a while, and I needed something to do while procrastinating, so here it is: the first chapter of Iridescent. Enjoy

I looked at the boy in front of me. His large sad eyes staring up at me. I knew I could never kill him-could never kill anyone in the name of the Dark Lord. Some how it felt as if I had always known this, but I just pushed it aside, never thinking I would be asked to do such a thing. No my role was only to marry a pureblood and have lots of pureblood babies. But that was not so, because here I was being told to kill an innocent muggle boy to prove my loyalty to the Dark Lord. I continued staring into those sad, frightened and lonely eyes. They were resigned. The boy knew that he was staring death in the face. I was death. I was the one this boy was terrified of. I could not kill him. My lips parted, but no sound came out. I heard a clatter as my wand dropped from my hand and hit the stone floor. I turned, slowly to face the man sitting in a high backed, throne-like chair. "I-" my voice stuck, I tried again, "I can't." I said, "I won't." I heard several people gasp, I didn't turn to look at Lucius, or any of my friends. The man in the chair looked at me with his cold eyes, and my blood turned to ice.

"You won't?" His voice was high, and instilled fear in my heart. I tried to shake my head but my body was frozen, it would not move. "Crucio." The way he said it would have suggested he was merely bored. But I had no time to think about that because I was on the ground, and my body was no longer frozen. It was writhing, like some grotesque snake. Every fiber of my being was screaming in pain, and so was I. It sounded inhuman, and I could barely believe the sound was coming from me, but it was. After what seemed like hours, but was probably only a matter of seconds the curse was lifted, and I was left panting on the ground. I attempted to stand, but my muscles would not support my weight. So instead I stayed on the ground, trying to recover and watching the man. "How about now?" He asked, in his hissing snake-like voice, "Will you kill him now?" I looked over at the boy, if anything he was even more terrified than before, his wide eyes fixated on me. I knew that no matter what they did to me, I would not be able to kill this boy. I did not have the strength. And how would I be able to live with myself, knowing I had taken such an innocent life. No. There was nothing they could do to make me change my mind. I guess I was more like a Gryffindor than I thought. I looked back at the man and shook my head, my voice failing me. "Very well." His voice was still calm, yet this was almost more terrifying then anything. "If she is refusing then there is no need for me to stay," He said as he rose from his throne-like chair, and called a hooded man over to him, "She is yours to do with as you wish, let's see if we can persuade her to change her mind." The man turned to look at me and smirked an ugly, malicious, terrifying smirk, and the Dark Lord swept from the room.

I stood frozen to the spot, not daring to think what was going to happen to me. The man started making his way towards me and I backed away, but with a flick of his wand I could no longer move. It was then that I realized that my wand was laying abandoned on the ground a few feet from me, where I had dropped it when I had decided I could not kill the boy. Now my fear grew still, I was without my only weapon. I was practically useless. It was only when the man began removing his robes that I realized his intentions, I started struggling against the magic keeping me in place, much more frantic then before. I was by no means a virgin, but this, this could not be happening. But it was. Before I could do anything he was upon me. My hands were bound and well as my feet, but I was fighting as though my life depended on it, which it probably does because I'm not so sure that I'll be getting out of this alive. Tears were streaming down my face and I cried out for help from anyone, but no one came to my aid. I searched the masked people until I found Lucius platinum blonde hair, which matched my own, he was just standing there watching. Why wasn't he doing anything to help me? I'm his sister. His own flesh and blood. But no he was just standing there. I called to him, "Lucius, please!" I cried, "Please Lucius, I'm your sister. Help me, do something, anything. Don't just stand there!" but he did. He was not going to help me. A Slytherin through and through. I was sobbing hysterically now. There had to be someone who was going to stop this man, but they all just stood there and let him continue. I searched for my friends, surely they would do something. "Regulus, please!" I could not be sure, but I thought I had found him, or there was someone else who appeared to be having a hard time not coming to my aid. Maybe I was just imagining it, I hope I was not. "Severus!" He had to be here too, and I was grasping at straws now. Did I have no one who cared for me? I suppose not. They all stood there and watched while I cried out desperately for help. No one even silenced me, did they enjoy my screams?

When the man finished I was sure it was over. Sure that nothing more could come. But I was wrong, because after him was another man. I do not know how many men there were, but I continued to cry and beg and plead and shout for help and mercy. And everyone else continued to watch, and do nothing. At last there were no more men. I just laid there, the spells binding me had been removed, but I could move. My body would not permit it. I heard footsteps, and someone grabbed a fistful of my hair, pulling me to my feet and even a bit off the ground, I could not see who it was but I could see a man in front of me- or at least the part of him that was not covered by his mask. He brought his face close to mine and asked me in a low threatening voice, "Are you ready to kill that boy now?" But I could not, I knew I could not. My sense of self-preservation had left me as well, I suppose it knew a lost cause when it saw one. And because I could see no way out of this other then death, and I just hoped they would kill me quickly I found some hidden mine of courage within my body, looked him straight in the eyes and said in an even voice,

"I will never kill anyone for that coward." It came out of nowhere, but before I knew it, my head had whipped to the side from the force of his hand. There was a stinging on my cheek from where one of his rings had cut into my face. The man holding me threw me to the ground. Before I could react my head had connected with the stone, I saw little white dots around me and the world seemed to be spinning. I slowly lifted a hand to my head and it was met with a warm gooey substance. I pulled my hand back down to eye level, it was bright red. Blood. I was laying there trying to collect myself, and come up with some plan or something, but I didn't have a chance. I didn't hear who said it, but my body exploded into pain again, not as powerful as the Dark Lord, but a scream was still wrenched from my throat. I could do nothing other then scream. My mind could not form words, all it could do was process the incredible amount of pain it was in. And suddenly it stopped. I was breathing hard, a bloody, crumpled mess on the floor. When I gained the energy to lift my head I saw that they were laughing. They were standing there laughing, as if the pain they were causing me was all some big joke to them. This is what I would have become. I remind myself. And then my heart sank, because the person walking towards me now was incredibly familiar. Even if I hand't been able to see his hair that was the exact shade as mine, I would have recognized him. I had known him all my life, grew up in the same house as him. I recognized the way he held himself and the way he walked. And if that wasn't enough, I sure as hell would have recognized his voice.

"You disgust me." Lucius spat out. And I never expected to feel physical pain at his words, but I did. "How dare you? How dare you dishonor the name of Malfoy with your actions. You are nothing to me. Not my sister. Not even a spec of dirt in my room." I flinched at the words. How could this be? This was my brother. He had never been particularly kind to me, but he had done things-little things- to show me he cared. He was always there, like a rock I could lean on if I needed to. Although I rarely did, Malfoys were raised to be independent and to need no one. People were dependent on us, not the other way around. But if I had needed him, he would have been there. But no longer. I never expected this emptiness that came with this realization. I was honestly and truly alone. But he was speaking again, and even though I did not want to hear what he was saying, I could not block it out. "How dare you do this to me? I was the one to get the Dark Lord to see what an asset you could be. And you go an embarrass me like this? No, no! This will not be tolerated, crucio." I was struck again, with wave after wave of pain as Lucius unleashed his fury on me. This could not be real, but it was. The pain was a testament to that. This kind of pain could not be imagined, it was only felt. I was screaming, and my body was moving into unnatural positions trying to escape the pain. But there was no escape, no respite, it simply continued, hitting my body and cause more screaming, more writhing. I could hear nothing. Nothing except my own tortured screams, echoing off the walls and bouncing back to me, sounding distorted.

And then it was over. And I lay, trying to recover while tears streamed down my face and I had no control over them over anything. My body was shaking and I could not stop it. I could only lay there and wait, wait for my ability to do anything normal to return to me. Wait to for whatever was going to happen to me next. Wait to die. I was just laying there on my back. Everything seemed so silent except for my screams which were still ringing in my ears. When I was able to again comprehend my surroundings I saw that Lucius had returned to his spot in the circle, but I no longer wanted to see him, so I turned my eyes to the men torturing me. They were just standing there, I suppose they had gotten bored with me just screaming and writhing on the floor. I hate to see what they have in mind for me next. Maybe they will just kill me, but I doubt I could get so lucky. Then one man stepped forward, with an evil glint in his eyes.

"This is a spell I learned recently. The person made it up themselves. Clever little bugger he is. Let's see how well it works shall we? Sectumsempra." He made a motion with his wand and pointed it at me. Then came the pain. Not the full body, consuming pain of the Cruciatus Curse, but a much more specific pain, I felt as if the skin on my chest had been split open, and when I looked down I saw, in fact, that it had. The blood had already soaked through the tattered remains of my robes, and there was a giant, bloody X on my chest. I had already lost some blood from the wound on my head from where it had collided with the stone floor. But I was losing blood fast, I slumped to the ground. I could hear the all laughing and then it just stopped.

"What was that?" I heard someone say. I didn't catch the reply but I heard someone leave the room. The people who were left did not pay me much attention. They were preoccupied with something else. And then the person was back. My head was fuzzy and I could not entirely hear what he was saying but my brain was able to process the word 'attack'. And then more people were rushing out of the room.

My eyes found the little boy. He was frozen, staring at me. Whether from some spell or simply his own terror I have no idea, but he was there, and he was alive. It was worth it then, my dying. He had his whole life ahead of him, mine was so fucked up already I don't think I want to know what would happen if I lived. I would be locked up in some basement perhaps, and only see humans when they were bored and wanted to torture me- no. I was glad that I was dying, it was best this way. My vision was becoming darker. There was barely anyone left. Then I saw the boy be hit with a blast of purple light and he crumpled. I hoped he wasn't dead, but the remaining men were leaving, and one of them made sure to give me a good kick in the ribs as he passed. It hurt, but I was mostly numb, the world was slowly becoming darker, darker. And then I was enveloped by the blackness.

Author's Note: I know it's pretty dark, but it has to be in order to set the plot for the rest of the story, So, what did you think? Love it? Hate it? Let me know by leaving a review! =] Also, you may have seen this on HPFF, but due to their super annoying moderators the torture scene had to be modified, so this is the original version, and that is the less intense version. Just so you know. 


	2. Chapter 2 How it all began

Author's Note: ...Sorry? I know! I know it's been ages since I updated this and I'm really sorry. Things just happened and then I didn't have it finished, but here it is! And I don't know when the next chapter is gonna be because I'm starting my senior year of highschool and I play volleyball which is a 6-day a week thing and so I'm super busy, and I have to do college applications and stuff. So I'll try really hard to get stuff written, but for now here's this! Hope you enjoy and leave a review please!

Posted September 4th 2012

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Hogwarts. I remember the carefree days I spent there. Lazing about by the lake, studying for exams, just growing up in general. I was ripe with excitement my first year. I remember the boat ride, seeing Hogwarts for the first time and naturally my sorting. Of course I was put in Slytherin, where I belonged. And now, since you know where my tale goes, your probably assuming that I wasn't like all the other Slytherins, that I actually cared about mudbloods and blood-traitors, and I just pretended. Let me set you straight then. I did believe that I was better than anyone who was not of pure blood as I was. And even if someone was a pureblood, if they were a blood-traitor, or even if they didn't have as much money or power as my family had. I looked down on them. It was how I had been raised. In a house where arrogance was a necessary personality trait, and any identifiable weakness was looked down upon, and possibly even punished. I learned to conceal my true feeling, and put up an indifferent mask, to never let anyone in, and to never care about anybody. All of these things were viewed as weaknesses. If you didn't care about anyone, then no one could be used to hurt you.

Of course this was a lot easier said then done, and I ended up letting a few people in, not a lot, and you had to gain my trust- which was no easy feat. Regulus Black, in my year, was one of my closest friends. Or at least, I thought he was. Then there was Narcissa, who ended up marrying my dear brother Lucius. We were acquaintances, but not too close. And my brother. Well, there's a complicated relationship. He had always been there if I needed him. Had taught me spells and curses way beyond my age level, and it was thanks to him that I was able to rise to the top of the Slytherin Hierarchy so fast. My charm and wit could have only gotten me so far, to be on top you need to be powerful, and Lucius taught me what I needed to be just that. Of course my exemplary skills of manipulation also helped.

Throughout my years at Hogwarts I had seen more than my fair share of what some would refer to as 'bullying'. In Slytherin it was simply a pass-time. I mostly insulted, made fun of and laughed at mudbloods, cursing them was beneath my level. Of course I alway got a good laugh out of it when one of my friends did something to them. Nothing permanent, but just enough to remind them who their superiors were, and that they really didn't belong here. As we got older though, there was talk throughout Slytherin House about some revolutionist, who wanted to purify the world. I knew that Lucius had joined him and many in my year and above were interested as well. I didn't give a second thought as to whether or not I would join him; as a woman my responsibility was to my future husband and my home and children. The men could worry about the fighting, and I would worry about the men. Regulus in particular. We were so young, yet he joined while we were still in school.

I remember him pulling me into a dark, secluded corner of the common room late at night and how he rolled up his left sleeve. I saw the ebony Dark Mark, which stood in stark contrast to his pale skin. The pride and admiration on his face were unmistakable, he could make up for all his blood-traitor brother's mistakes and bring honor back to the house of Black. I was worried for him, but he was taking a necessary risk. Or at least that's how I saw it at the time. Now, well I just wish I could have done something to prevent what he would become.

And so Seventh year came and with it my betrothal was announced. I was to marry Mason Avery a couple months after my graduation from Hogwarts. I did not particularly like Avery, but I accepted that it was a necessary union between our families. I'll admit that a small part of me had hoped that Regulus and I would be betrothed. We were not involved while at school but I trusted Regulus and I knew he would be a kind, respectful husband. However that did not happen, and so it was Mason Avery. I went on to graduate with a decent amount of NEWTs, and the whole world was in front of me, all I had to do was reach out and grab it. Apparently though, my brother had other plans, for he arranged a meeting between the Dark Lord and I. It was not what I wanted, I was supposed to be a simple wife. I convinced myself that I could just get by unnoticed, do some little thing, join his ranks and never actually hurt anyone. I should have know it wouldn't be that easy. I knew even before I looked into those sad, lonely, desperate eyes that I was not meant to be a Death Eater, but those eyes just sealed my fate.

Sirius Black was a man on a mission- literally. The Order was infiltrating a Death Eater safe house, the sounds of battle were all around him, but he padded quietly peeking in rooms, looking for anything suspicious. He looked into one room and was about to move on before he realized that it wasn't empty. There were two heaps on the floor, one in the center of the room and another, smaller, one near the wall. He cautiously moved into the room, there was a metallic scent in the air and he sincerely hope he was mistaken as to it's source. But he wasn't. The heap in the middle of the room, which was barely discernible as a girl, was covered in blood, and a pool was forming around her. He felt like he was about to be sick, but the only thing he could do was try to save her. He removed his robe and tied it around her chest in an attempt to stem the profuse bleeding. He had no time to worry about the other person he sent one patronus to Remus telling him about the room and the people inside of it, before sending another to Molly and Lily informing them that he was returning with a severely wounded girl. He staggered out of the room carrying the girl bridal-style, not caring that his clothes were becoming stained with her blood. When he made it passed the apparition wards he disappeared with a pop and ended up at Headquarters.

Molly had already prepared the kitchen table and Sirius laid the girl down. Lily rushed in a moment later, her arms full of many potions bottles which she nearly dropped in shock at seeing the girl. Sirius was shunted to the side while the two red-haired woman worked on healing the girl. Before they did anything else they gave her a blood replenishing potion, and cast a spell to slow the blood seeping through Sirius' robe. When they untied it Molly began moving her wand over the wounds. But nothing was happening. Molly had no idea what to do, this was dark magic unlike any she had seen before. Suddenly Lily burst out "I think I might be able to heal her." Both Molly and Sirius looked at her in surprise, but Molly moved to the side. Lily moved closer to the girl, pointed her wand at the girls chest. She began mutter fast, incomprehensible words underneath her breath, and the wounds actually started to close up. Although Lily's mind was focused on healing the girl in front of her, part of her mind was far away back in Hogwarts.

It was the end of Lily's fifth year at Hogwarts. She was studying for her OWLs, which were only a couple days away, with her best friend Sev. She was looking through his potions book because he was such a genius in potions. She was looking at all of the notes he had made on different potions. She doubted he would let anyone other than her touch- let alone look through his beloved potions textbook. In one of the corner's after many scratched out revisions was one word 'Sectumsempra' she read the word aloud before looking at he study partner. "Sev, what does this spell do." He looked up in surprise and his eyes widened. He grabbed the book from her and snapped it shut.

"Nothing Lily!" He said in a quick, frantic voice, "Forget you even read it, and don't ever use it." Lily was shocked, her friend had never been like this before. She said nothing, but she could not get the spell out of her mind. Later that night when she was in her dorm room alone she took out her wand, and sat on her bed with the curtains pulled tight and spells to keep sound in. She sat across from one of her pillows and pointed her wand at it. "Sectumsempra"

She said in a determined voice.

The pillow ripped open, an 'X' across the front of it and some of the stuffing fell out onto her bed. A small, "Oh!" of surprise fell from Lily's lips as she stared at what used to be one of her favorite pillows. She couldn't believe that Sev would make a spell like that. Sev had told her to forget the spell, but she had already used it, plus her favorite pillow was ruined and she was determined to find the counter-curse in order to fix it. So the next day when they were studying in the library and Sev went to find a book somewhere, Lily took her chance. She grabbed his potions textbook out of his bag and flipped through until she found the page. After searching through the small cramped handwriting she was able to discern a complicated series of words. She wrote them down on a spare piece of parchment and as she was about to close the book she noticed something else, Severus had added something else 'For enemies only' Lily put the book back feeling faint, was that spell- that horrible spell which had destroyed her pillow supposed to be used on humans? On people? On enemies. When Severus returned Lily made up some excuse and left hurriedly. She went back to her dormitory and used the spell on her pillow watching as the fabric sewed itself back together and repeating the words until it was completely fixed. The next day, after their Defense Against the Dark Arts OWL when Severus called her that horrible word, she knew. Knew that he was no longer the boy who used to be her best friend. He was some new person and she didn't want to be near him any longer. Their friendship had ended.

Coming back to the present Lily shook herself and continued moving her wand over the deep cuts. Could Severus have done this? It was without a doubt his spell, but could he have actually used it on some innocent girl? Maybe it was some other person. But it was still his spell, his creation, and this girl might not survive because of it. The thought left Lily with a strange, eerie feeling that she didn't like. This girl is not going to die, she told herself firmly, I won't allow it. She continued working, and the progress could be seen, before long the bleeding had stopped completely. Lily kept working. A series of pops could be heard from the other room and they knew the order appeared.

"Molly!" Remus' voice called form the other room. "I've got a boy, don't know what's wrong with him, he won't wake!" Molly rushed towards them as James and a few others moved into the kitchen. They all gasped seeing the girl on the table and the blood soaked fabric surrounding her.

"Sirius!" Lily's voice snapped Sirius back into reality. "There's another blood replenishing potion over there, now that she isn't constantly losing blood give it to her." Sirius moved to the cluster of bottles and picked out the one that was labeled as blood replenishing and moved back to the girl. He gently opened her mouth and tipped her head back before pouring the potion down her throat. Maybe it was just his hopeful imagination but she did appear to become less pale afterwards. When he glanced at her chest he saw that where there had been open wounds a scab-like thing had formed. More muttering and it was just a large, raised, bright pink 'X'. Lily let out a sigh, "That's the best I can do for now, but careful, otherwise it will open up again." Molly came bustling back into the room. "I think she's stable now Molly, but she could still go either way. She needs a lot more healing." She glanced around at the order members gathered in the room, glancing curiously at the girl on the table. "But perhaps it would be better if we moved somewhere more private." Molly looked around before nodding.

"Good idea Lily, as for the boy I've put him in the guest bedroom down here, except for being unable to wake him he is healthy so we can deal with him once she is all take care of." Molly took out her wand and carefully levitated the girl, being sure to keep her flat and as undisturbed as possible. They moved upstairs and into a spare bedroom, placing the girl gently on the bed and pulling curtains around for privacy. Sirius had been directly behind them on the way upstairs and James and Remus had followed shortly. They wanted to question Sirius on what was going on, but seeing him standing there with that look on his face they just stood in silence. Molly took over once again, mending the cut on her face and the gash on her head, then she moved down her body. Molly started healing her broken ribs while Lily worked on cleaning the blood off of her. Sirius, Remus and James were sitting when they heard Lily gasp and drop her wand with a clatter. James was on his feet in a moment rushing to her side.

"Are you alright?" He asked hurriedly.

"Yes, just… look." They followed her gaze to the girl's face and Sirius felt his mouth fall open in shock. How was this possible? Once all the blood had been cleared away you could see the unmistakable platinum hair and sharp face of Celeste Malfoy. Molly stopped her spellwork and looked up at them.

"Do you recognize her?" Molly asked the four of them, and it was Sirius who responded.

"Y-" his voice stuck in his throat, he coughed and tried again. "Yes, it's Celeste Malfoy. She was a year behind us, in Slytherin obviously, she would have only graduated a little over a month ago. I don't understand, she was the perfect pureblood princess. How- how could this have happened to her?" Sirius couldn't comprehend, nothing about this made sense.

Molly looked at the girl and shook her head before turning her attention back to the girls injuries. She had finished healing her ribs and cast another spell, on her entire body. Lily, Sirius, James and Remus were all caught up in there own thoughts none of them thought anything of Molly's sharp intake of breath or her soft "Oh dear."

Sirius was still going through any of the things that could have happened to cause this and he imagined so were the others. It didn't make any sense, how could a Malfoy be tortured at a Death Eater meeting? Maybe it was some rite of passage? You had to show what kind of pain you could endure for the Dark Lord? But Sirius quickly checked her left arm and saw that it was free of the Dark Mark. Perhaps she never completed it… In that case though would they have just left her to die since she wasn't worthy? Couldn't they have just healed her and sent here home to continue planning her wedding and carrying on the pureblood line? It just didn't make any sense, Sirius concluded, the only person who knew for sure was currently unconscious and no one knew when she was going to wake.

Suddenly the door opened and Albus Dumbledore walked in, wearing robes the color of plums, but without a twinkle in his eye or a smile on his face. "Hello, Molly." he said, addressing the plump red haired woman. "I heard we brought someone back from this mission in pretty bad shape, do you know who it is yet?"

Molly looked up at him and then answered. "Yes, Albus, these four figured out who it is. It's Celeste Malfoy."

Dumbledore's face showed surprise before he turned to the girl on the bed in order to confirm it. He shook his head sadly, "A month ago I handed her a graduation certificate and she was so happy. Now she came so close to death. So many youths are being claimed by this war. And look at you four, you joined the order as soon as you left school and have seen more misery and death then people your age should and for that I am sorry." No one knew what to say to him, so no one said anything at all. He turned back to Molly, "Alright, what were her injuries?"

Molly glanced at Celeste before answering, "She had a concussion and was bleeding from the head, I'm assuming from her head making contact with something hard. A bruise a small cut on her cheek, probably from being hit. The lacerations on her chest which were caused by dark magic, very dark magic. I didn't even know the counter-curse, it was Lily who figured it out. Two of her ribs were broken and one was fractured. Not to mention that her body shows signs of being placed under the cruciatis curse multiple times." Molly paused and everyone was silent. With every injury she had read off Dumbledore's expression had become more somber and Sirius had almost flinched. But no one was prepared for what Molly had to say next. "And, Albus, she was raped."

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Author's Note: Ooooh, little cliff-hanger there. Not really for you guys cause you already knew, but for them and for you guys to see their reactions. So please leave a review, because they help me write more! What do you like? What do you think I should improve on? Where do you want to see the story go? Any particular things you want to happen? Let me know in a review! Thanks for reading (and hopefully reviewing)


	3. Chapter 3 Headquarters

Author's Note: I'm so sorry for this incredibly long wait! There's really no excuse, but I just haven't had time to sit down and write. I hope you guys forgive me, so without further useless prattling here it is: Chapter 3! Published 8/13/13

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Lily let out a chocked sob, Sirius jerked his head towards Celeste, and Dumbledore turned sharply to look Molly dead in the face. "You're sure?" he said in a deadly serious voice.

"Yes. Unless she consented to extremely violent intercourse with multiple partners before attending the meeting where she was tortured- but no, it's the only thing that makes sense. And it breaks my heart to think of what this girl must have endured." They all nodded along because they couldn't imagine it. Sirius clenched his fists so tightly that his nails began to draw blood. How could they do that? How could anyone do that to another person? Take away their dignity so thoughtlessly? But Death Eaters are vicious and heartless people, if anyone could do something like this it would be a Death Eater. Lily was staring at Celeste with a pitying look upon her face. No one spoke. Dumbledore cleared his throat and took charge of the room that was now hanging in silence.

"There is nothing any of us can do for Ms. Malfoy to change the past, now all we can do is ensure that she heals completely and quickly. I feel as though Lily and Molly have done all they can for now, and Ms. Malfoy just needs to let her body rest and recover. We should all leave her in peace." Dumbledore paused, and looked around before continuing, "Ms. Malfoy is a very private individual and I have my doubts as to whether she will even come forward about the particulars of her attack tonight, and I know for sure that she will not want certain details to be common knowledge. So I must insist that none of you relay what has happened to her to anyone outside this room." No one needed to ask which particulars he was referring to. They all agreed in mumbled words, and nods of their heads. "Then in this case I think we should all retreat downstairs and see if there is anything we can do for the young boy that was also rescued tonight." Everyone filed out of the room, and Sirius, bringing up the rear, turned and allowed his gaze to linger upon Celeste before the door closed behind him.

Sirius didn't have the heart to sit in with another sick and unconscious person so instead he sank into a kitchen chair and sat with his head in his hands. Molly, Lily and Remus all went into the room that held the boy. James walked over to a cabinet in the corner and pulled out a brown glass bottle, about half full with a reddish liquid. He pulled out two glasses and sat down heavily across from Sirius, pouring out some of the liquid into each. They sat in silence, each mulling over their own thoughts while sipping the Firewhiskey. Neither said a word, they were too caught up in their own minds.

When Remus returned to the kitchen he got out another glass and poured himself a drink as well. "What's wrong with the boy?" Sirius finally broke the silence, and it seemed as though it had been years since anyone had said anything.

"No idea." Remus responded, "His body is perfectly healthy, if a little battered, but nothing that seems seriously life-threatening. Seems as if he's just sleeping, except he won't wake. There could be a lot of things wrong but we just can't figure it out. We decided to wait until Malfoy wakes up and see if she knows what happened to him. Until then I think Lily is going to be researching what could have done this." Sirius and James nodded.

Dumbledore walked in the room, and they all turned to look at him. "I think it would be wise to have someone stay in the room with Ms. Malfoy and keep watch over her until she wakes up. We don't want her to wake up and be all alone, without any idea what has happened. That, I think, would be very unfair to her, as well as possibly dangerous. Remember that Ms. Malfoy probably does not know that she is no longer in the clutches of the Death Eaters. I will take the first watch." And with that Dumbledore turned and walked upstairs.

Soft. Warm. These are the first thoughts that go through my mind. And then pain. My body feels sore. Did I go out drinking last night? No, I wouldn't feel like this if I had. What happened last night? And then I remember. I remember everything. Lucius taking me to meet the Dark Lord, the torture, the...rape, the blood... there was so much blood, the spell hitting the little boy, and nothing. What the hell had happened? Had my friends taken me after everyone left, and healed me? What did that mean, when they had done nothing to stop this from happening in the first place?

I opened my eyes, I was laying in a bed. I looked at the bedside table for my wand, there was only a pile of thick, hardcover books, no wand. There was dim light, but I could see the walls, I sat up and looked around the unfamiliar room. There were some portraits hanging on the wall, and there sitting in the corner reading was- "Regulus." It came out so quietly it was like a breath. And then I felt I white hot rage inside me and I picked up the nearest thing to me- one of the hard cover books- and threw it at him. "You bastard!" I cried, feeling satisfied when it hit him with a thunk. "How could you, Reg?" another book flew from my hands, "You just stood there and let them-" but I froze, a heavy text titled Goblin Wars of the 16th Century in my hands, ready to sail from my grasp, because the voice that shouted 'Bloody hell, woman!' was slightly different from Regulus', and as I looked, the person standing in the room with me had hair longer and shaggier than Regulus' smoothly trimmed hair. He was also a couple inches taller than Regulus was. And when the man moved closer, staring at me with wide, bewildered eyes, they were not the warm, chocolate brown eyes of Regulus Black, but the silver gray ones of his older brother Sirius. Before I had been breathing hard, but now it seemed as though I couldn't breathe at all. I felt like someone had just punched me hard in the stomach. "Black!" I choked out, "What the bloody hell is going on?" He just kept staring at me. "Black, where am I!" I said again.

"Uhh, your in the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix. It's an organization that fights Voldemort." I flinched at the name, and recalled the cold man in the high backed chair, the pain of the cruciatis curse, the harshness of my brother. My body felt cold. My head was cloudy, I barely saw the room I was in, I was too caught up in my memories. I didn't realize that my breathing had sped up until I heard my name coming from Black's mouth and then the breathing sound registered. Relax. I told myself. You're safe, they are not the Death Eaters, they will not hurt you. I forced myself to focus back on Black's face, he looked worried. "I-I'll just go get Dumbledore, he can explain everything to you." He hurried to the door, and snapped it shut behind him.

Left alone in the room I tried to figure out what the hell I had gotten myself into. I was in the headquarters of the people who all of my friends and family were trying to kill. What does that mean for me? More importantly, what the hell does it mean that my brother has denounced me, and none of my friends stood up and helped me? I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. Where do I go now? I have no home to return to, and I know no one will accept me now that I have refused the Dark Lord. My inner debate was brought to an end as Black returned, bringing with him my previous headmaster. "Ahh, Ms. Malfoy, I'm glad to see you are awake."

It felt strange seeing my old headmaster, especially under the circumstances that I hadn't even wrapped my head around. "I'm glad to be awake, Headmaster." And it was the truth. No matter what I would have to go through, I would rather have to deal with that than being dead.

"Oh, there's no need to call me Headmaster any longer. You're no longer at school, you may call me whatever you like." I nodded, but I would still call him Headmaster. "Now, onto more serious topics." and he paused, I knew this was coming. "You're probably very confused as to how all of this happened, so let me explain things from our point of view, and then you can tell us what happened on your end of the story." He didn't stop to let me say anything, so I figured it wasn't necessary to respond. "You are here, at the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix because Sirius discovered you while we were on an attack of a Death Eater's house. We retrieved you and the small boy and brought you back to headquarters. You had lost a lot of blood and were in pretty rough shape, Lily and Molly healed you up quite well though. We have been unable to awaken the little boy yet, we were hoping you might be able to tell us something that could help us know what he was hit with so we can heal him. So that is how you came to be here, and you are welcome to stay here for as long as you want. Now it is time for you to share with us how this all started."

I had been dreading this, how could I tell him what happened? Especially since Black was sitting in the corner where he had been when I first woke up. I took a deep breath and then started my story. "Well, L- my brother set up a meeting between myself and the… the Dark Lord. When I got there, it was a Death Eater gathering, and he told me I had to kill that boy- the one you brought here with me. I refused. He used the cruciatis curse on me, told some Death Eaters to basically torture me and left. They smacked me around a lot, used the cruciatis curse as well, then they used the curse that cut-" I broke off, suddenly the thought of my chest being split open crossed my mind. What was left? How bad was the scarring? I lifted up the neck of the shirt I was wearing and looked down. My chest was covered in bandages, I could not see how bad the wound was. It certainly still hurt. Dumbledore seemed to accept that I needed a moment to process everything, because he did not speak while I tried to observe the damage to my body. I finally looked up, with tears in my eyes, and I was glad Dumbledore remained patiently silent. I coughed before continuing to talk. "They cursed me, and I was bleeding, and then they just left me there and everyone ran out. They kicked me while I was laying on the ground, and the boy! They hit him with a purple spell. I didn't hear what it was, but I saw that it was purple. He's a muggle by the way." There. It was out of the way now. No one has to know about anything other than that. I was starting to relax, everything would be okay, I was still in control of something, even if I couldn't help the cold fear that crept into my body at the thought of the red staring eyes, and Lucius' fury. Even if I found it difficult to say his name out loud for whatever reason… I looked at Dumbledore and he appeared sad, and almost regretful, I wonder what he's thinking of.

"Ms. Malfoy, I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but while we were healing you we discovered that there is a further extent to your injuries other than just what you have described." My stomach felt as though it had dropped out of my body and was somewhere underneath the bed I was sitting on. They knew. They already knew. "I know this is something you would probably prefer to keep to yourself, but it's important to your health and it's only fair that you are aware of who has this information. When it was discovered that you were raped, myself, Molly Weasley, Lily Evans, Sirius Black, James Potter and Remus Lupin were in the room. They have been instructed to reveal this to no one, and I assure you that no one is going to try to make you talk about something you do not want to." I never thought I would flinch when he said rape, but I did. The list of names stopped a flashback, for which I'm grateful, I hope that's something I never have to think of ever again. I looked over at Black, he was staring determinedly at the floor, carefully not looking at me. So he knew. How would everyone treat me? Up till now, I've probably behaved as a good little Death Eater in their eyes, and now here I am, broken, and fucking useless. Who wants someone too weak to protect themselves. Not to mention that the scars that I'm sure will appear on my chest are probably going to tell anyone that doesn't already know how disgraceful I am. No one will want me now. How bad is my chest, I wonder. I looked back to Dumbledore who was politely looking into his lap where he was twiddling his thumbs. I felt as though everyone was waiting to see what I would do, they all wanted to watch me break. Suddenly, even though there were only two other people in the room with me, I felt crowded in, and I hated it. I didn't want them in here anymore.

"I want to be alone." I said, quietly in an attempt to completely control my voice, not letting it quiver. I could feel tears coming: something to be ashamed of. I couldn't let them fall, especially since two strangers were in the room with me. "I want you to leave." I repeated.

They both got up immediately and went to the door, Dumbledore turned around before walking out and said "If you get hungry, the kitchen is out your door, to the right, and down the stairs." I just kept nodding, needing him to leave. As the door clicked shut a small, broken sob escaped from my lips. And suddenly I had no control anymore, tear started falling. I bring my knees to my chest and hug them, ignoring the way my chest screams in protest. Rocking slightly, and sobbing, I tuck my head into my knees. For now, just for now, I will let my emotions take control, let them tell me what to do. And now they are saying just sit here, just let something out. So that's what I do.

She thought I was Regulus. When she first woke up, she thought I was my younger brother. And she wasn't happy with him. I almost wish it had been him instead of me, because those books hurt! But what she said… that was what's been haunting me. 'How could you just stand there?' So Regulus had been there. He had been there and done absolutely nothing to help her. This not only confirms my belief that he officially joined the Death Eaters, but that he's also an absolute worthless arse. They were friends, I know they were. I remember making fun of Regulus about them "dating." I wouldn't have been surprised if they had become betrothed. And yet he stood by and did nothing while she was raped and tortured. How the hell could Regulus even justify himself? And how upset she had gotten, when Dumbledore told her that we knew about the rape. She was prepared to deal with that all by herself, just so no one would have to know.

It's hard to believe that the same strong, proud, sarcastic Slytherin that used to rule the halls of Hogwarts could sound so broken and lonely. I didn't want to leave when she said that she wanted to be alone, but I knew I couldn't stay. I just don't understand this. What sort of fucked up world is this becoming? How many lives is Voldemort going to ruin? What sort of person could lead this force of death? I answered my own question: someone who isn't human anymore.

I wonder what Malfoy is going to do now. Dumbledore said she was welcome to stay as long as she wanted, and she didn't really have anywhere else to go, everyone from her previous life will have turned their backs on her. If she truly has given up the Death Eaters. The thought whispers through my brain, but I quickly dismiss it. Of course she gave them up, she wasn't willing to join them and they put her through hell and back because of it. What would have happened if I hadn't found her? If the Order hadn't been there that night? All of these thoughts raced through my head. She's upstairs in her room still, I hope that she will come down and get something to eat, but I know that she won't. She is far too proud. Just like she was too proud to cry while Dumbledore and I were in the room. I lingered outside the door when we left, and heard her break down into sobs.

I feel weak. My mother would be ashamed of the way I lost control of myself, she raised me better than that. Of course she's probably already ashamed of me because of the way I've disgraced our family. Does she know yet? Does Father know? Yes. Lucius must have told them right away, but- how long has it been? It's only been hours since I woke up but it's dark now. How long though was I out after that night? How long did it take my body to recover? I'll have to ask Dumbledore when I see him next. My stomach growls and I remember Dumbledore's instructions to get to the kitchen. But this is the headquarters for the group fighting everyone I've ever associated with. Even if I felt like getting up and walking around like this, I don't want to run into anyone and have the stares and whispers and questions. What if everyone knew? I know Dumbledore said that only a couple people knew and they weren't going to tell anyone, but somehow I doubt that. What a juicy piece of gossip they must all be thinking; the Slytherin Princess gets raped by Death Eaters. I bet they're all having some great laugh about me and saying stuff about karma. No. I definitely do not want to leave this room. My stomach will just have to deal with it.

As if conjured by my thoughts, there was a knock at the door. I was silent: did I want any visitors? Maybe I should just pretend to be sleeping. That's a good idea, that way I don't seem like even more of a bitch, but I also don't have to talk to anyone I don't want to. I lay my head down facing the door and pull my white-blond hair over my face because it's probably tear stained from my pathetic crying earlier, and I don't want anyone here to think I'm weaker than they already do. Another knock sounds. Then a soft voice, "Celeste?" It's strange hearing my name spoken so softly in such a foreign place. And my first name, at that. "Celeste I'm bringing in some food for you." Thank you, whoever you are. I'm thinking about stopping pretending to be asleep so I can thank the person bringing me the food I so desperately wanted, when the door handle turns slowly. And in walks mudblood Lily Evans. She was carrying a tray with food and she put it down on the bedside table before turning around and walking out.

That was so unexpected. I knew that people fighting against the Dark Lord were bloodtraitors and mudbloods, and I knew Lily Evans' name was mentioned earlier but I didn't expect to have her being so nice to me. She had absolutely no reason to be. I know I mocked her on multiple occasions while we were both in Hogwarts. I was so puzzled by Lily Evans that I forgot about the food and how hungry I was until my stomach gurgled and I turned to the food. I was very grateful and after I ate I started feeling tired again. I turned to the soft pillows and drifted back into sleep.

It was completely dark, I tried to sit up but I couldn't. I couldn't see anything. I couldn't move. There was something tying me down and I couldn't see. But I could feel. I felt the hands removing my robes, I was screaming, but nothing was stopping. I could never stop it before, why should I be able to stop it now. It seemed to go on forever. Screaming, crying, feeling hands on me that did not belong. Then it stopped and the pain came. My body bent in half, how was my back not broken? My throat was bleeding, blood was coming out of my mouth, I couldn't breathe, I was chocking on my own blood. And then through the darkness I could see Lucius, 'You disgust me!' 'You're nothing to me!' 'Crucio!' I was screaming, screaming, screa- I sat bolt up in bed, dripping with sweat. I looked around frantically, trying to locate some type of attacker in the deadly silent room. I was breathing hard, trying to control myself. It's just a dream. Just a dream. Nothing's happening to you. You're fine. You're safe. No one is hurting you. It's only a dream. I kept up the mantra in my head, focusing only on those words and controlling my breathing. In. Out. In. Out. Nice and slow. It was only a dream. Gradually my breathing slowed to its' normal pace. There was still sweat pouring down my face and the sheets were damp. I kicked off the blankets that were making me entirely too hot, and stepped out of bed. I made my way to the bathroom attached to the room I was in. I turned the light on and looked at my reflection. My face was so pale, and my white-blond hair only intensified this effect, making my skin tone look even more washed out. There were dark bags under my eyes, and my eyes themselves were bloodshot. I walked over to the sink and splashed cold water on my face, before sinking down to the cold tile floor. It helped cool me down, and get my thoughts back about me. It was only a dream. I was safe- or as safe as I could be in a house with people who probably wanted to kill most people like me. At least they weren't Death Eaters though. That was my one consolation. Now that I was sitting on freezing tiles, and wasn't freaking out over some dream, my body had cooled down a little too much. I saw the shower and decided that I was probably desperately in need of a shower.

My shirt was damp with sweat, and attempted to cling to my skin as I peeled it off of my body. Underneath lay the bandages which covered my sure-to-be mutilated chest. I had no idea if I was supposed to keep the bandages on or not, but I couldn't stand not knowing what my body looked like. I found the end of the bandage and slowly began to unwrap my torso. When the last of the off-white material fell away and I glimpsed myself in the mirror, a gasp was wrenched from my mouth without my permission. My legs suddenly felt weak, and I had to cling to the sink to keep myself from falling to the floor. I was holding the porcelain so tightly that my knuckles turned white.

I was hideous. My formerly, perfect, smooth, alabaster skin was now disfigured. Awful puckered raised pink lines now adorned my chest. Thankfully my breasts were spared, and I had not suffered major internal damage, but this seemed impossible to concentrate on now, when I was faces with the horrible reality that had become my body. Never before in my life had I felt uncomfortable in my own skin. For as long as I could remember I had been told how beautiful I was, and never before had I feared exposing any skin in the name of fashion. Now however… now, how could I wear anything with a low neck line. The horrifying scars would come up all the way to my collar bone. I would never again be able to wear a bathing suit, or in fact be naked in front of anyone. Any hope or dream I had ever had was now crushed. What use was I now that my beauty has been ruined. No man wants an ugly wife. No man would even want me to bear his son, even for the sake of continuing the pureblood line. I was doomed to be forever alone.

I released my death-grip on the sink and stumbled over to the shower, turning the temperature as high as it would go, before sinking into the tub. I found soap and scrubbed furiously at every inch of my skin except my chest, trying to erase the things that did not belong, both the hands of the Death Eaters and these feeling of insecurity.

As the hot jets of water thundered down around me, I began to feel safe and surrounded by a cocoon of heat. I realized how unlike myself I had been these past couple of hours. Horrible things had happened to me, yes. But I needed to pick myself up and move on. That's what Malfoy's did. They never let anything in, they wore a mask at all times, and never betrayed true feelings. I needed to bring back my walls, like I was before all of this happened. Except for one thing. I would not have even one soft spot, I would let not one person in. I let Regulus in and he abandoned me when I needed him most. Never again. From now on I will rely on myself and only myself. With my resolve strengthened I stood under the stream of hot water and rebuilt my mask and my walls. I am Celeste Verity Malfoy. I am a pureblood heiress. I am rich. I am smart. I am powerful. I don't need anyone else. I am who everyone wants to be.

When I stepped out of the shower I was not the same weak person who had stumbled in. My usual sneer had found it's way back to my face. When I looked in the mirror, making sure to focus only shoulders up, I recognized the cold, aristocratic, stuck-up bitch that I have known most of my life. With a smirk at myself I continued back into the other room. I looked at the dirty clothes I had been wearing, and threw them in the garbage. I looked through a drawer and found fresh clothes. I put them on. I changed the sheets. All of this manual labor reminded me that I dropped my wand back with the Death Eaters. I have no idea where it is now. I felt a feeling of loss. My wand had been with me since I was 11 and it chose me at Ollivander's. Being without it left me with a lonely feeling in the pit of my stomach. I tried to ignore it as I got back in bed and went back to sleep.

The rest of the night was thankfully nightmare-free. I woke up the next morning and I decided that these people would just have to deal with me. I got dressed, put on my haughtiest expression, and walked out the door. I froze once I got to the top of the stairs however. I could hear people eating in the kitchen below and they were talking and laughing with each other. I knew as soon as I walked down the stairs everyone would stop and stare at me. Then they would be silent the rest of the time that I was down there. I was about to turn around, go back to my room and wait and see if someone brought me food when I heard footsteps coming towards me. I looked up and saw someone I recognized as Remus Lupin. He looked surprised when he first caught sight of me, but then his face twisted into a smile and he moved more deliberately towards me. "Going down to breakfast Celeste?" he asked. And his use of my first name- which I had never heard uttered from his lips before- as well as the true interest behind the inquiry threw me off of my pureblood mask for a second. I hesitated before replying.

"Y-yes." I inwardly cursed at myself for stuttering, and decided to make it up by being even more removed, cold, and bitchy. Lupin gestured towards the stairs and we began descending together. As I predicted, everyone in the kitchen fell silent upon my entry. I think the bacon in the pans even stopped sizzling.

At that moment though I was so thankful to Lupin who just strode forward as though nothing was happening and said "Mmmm, this smells delicious Molly, I'm starved." Everyone snapped out of their stupor and began talking over loudly to compensate for the previous silence. I didn't know what to do so I just stood there. Lupin again came to my rescue by turning back to me and saying quietly, "Aren't you hungry Celeste? Molly's cooking is the greatest, I can guarantee that. Let's get some food." And he directed me over to where the food was waiting to be dished up. I grabbed some and put it on my plate, not really paying attention to what I was going to be eating.

I turned to the table and was at a loss of where to sit until Lupin gestured to the empty seat at the end of the table. I tried to not pay attention to the conversation around me, knowing it was awkward and forced because of my presence. I was completely out of my element. I wanted nothing more than to shovel the food into my mouth as fast as humanly possible and retreat back upstairs. I would never do that though. Besides the fact that my inner mother would shudder at the thought of such disgraceful and impolite way of eating, that would only serve to draw more attention to myself- something I was loathe to do. Instead I sat quietly, picking at whatever food was on my plate. I was waiting for some snide remark to be thrown at me.

They wouldn't come outright and say anything to me, it would be more subtle. Something like 'So, Malfoy, heard you and your family had a bit of a falling out.' or 'How does your fiance feel about your indiscretions?' That was the way you did it. I myself had been party to similar snide comments throughout the years. You don't come right out and say what you meant, but enough that everyone knew what you were talking about. Like in 6th year, when Rose Talbot's parents had a messy public divorce after it was discovered that her father, the head of the Magical Law Enforcement Agency, had an affair with the young secretary from his office. It was all over the papers because he resigned and was forced to make a public apology. Everyone knew about it, but no one had yet said anything to her. The Ravenclaw table bordered the Slytherin table and as she was coming down to breakfast, I'd leaned over with a smirk on my face and said 'Hey there, Talbot. How are the folks, still getting on alright? I hear you're dad's job at the ministry is going real well.' My friends found it hilarious because they knew that they weren't and that he had been sacked. She had burst into tears and run back out of the Great Hall. Her friends had found it less amusing and glared at me for days afterward. But that was how it was done, with finesse. Make a comment that under other circumstances was a perfectly harmless statement.

Now however, I wasn't sure I could handle such a comment. While after my shower last night, and even this morning alone in my room, I had felt secure in my mask and walls, now, here with these people, it felt as though I was falling apart and even the slightest suggestion about what had happened would cause me to break down. I hated this feeling of insecurity. I hated everything that had put me into this situation. I hated the way everyone seemed to be tip-toeing around me. And yet I would hate it even more if they shoved everything in my face. I wanted to retreat back to the room upstairs and never come out. But more than anything I wanted to go back to the way things were before Lucius messed everything up. I wanted my silk sheets. I wanted my house elves to answer my beck and call. I wanted people to love and fear me at the same time. I wanted my perfect body back. Hell, I even wanted to be planning my wedding. I wanted to be anywhere but here, in this room with people who hate me, and will mock me behind my back if not to my face. Anywhere was better than here. Well almost anywhere. I shuddered as the thought of the red eyes of the Dark Lord, and the circle of Death Eaters. Yes, this was better than that, but not much else.

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Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed this chapter, but unfortunately it will probably be a while till the next one. I'm about to start my Freshman year at college, and I'm not sure how strenuous my course load will be. I'm also going to be on the volleyball team during the fall, which won't leave me much time for writing. Don't worry though, I'm not giving up on this story!


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